Image by Seattle Bon Vivant

Jesse: You know, I satisfy one desire, and it just… agitates another, you know? Then I think, to hell with it, right? I mean, desire is the fuel of life, I mean, do you think it’s true that if we never wanted anything, we’d never be unhappy?

Céline: I don’t know… Not wanting anything, isn’t that… a symptom of depression? Yeah, that is, right? I mean, it’s healthy to desire, right?

Jesse: Yeah… I don’t know, I mean, it’s what all those Buddhist guys say, right? You know, liberate yourself from desire and you’ll find that you already have everything you need.

Céline: Yeah, but I feel really alive when I want something more than just basic survival needs. I mean, wanting whether it’s intimacy with another person, or a new pair of shoes, is kind of beautiful. I like that we have those ever-renewing desires.

Jesse: Well, maybe it’s just a sense of entitlement. You know, like whenever you feel like you deserve that new pair of shoes, you know. It’s OK to want things as long as you don’t get pissed off if you don’t get ‘em. Right?

From the movie, Before Sunset

Despite all my talk of being a simple, minimalist kind of girl, I do have a healthy appetite for falling in-love with many a thing. The lists of things I want never, ever seems to get smaller from books to clothes to home things to places to visit.

However, being frugal, living in a small place, and being overwhelmed at check-out counters leaves most of my desires in the shops. I treat them like a good book or magazine – highly inspiring, something to think about and sometimes even think about one day owning. I also find wishlists just handy for keeping track of things I want – especially online.

Wists is my favourite item-tracker. If someone mentions a great bag on a site, I can just add it to my Wist List so when I’m ready to get it, I know where to go  instead of trying to remember where on the web I saw it (I also use it for all my Domino Magazine finds). It’s great for sharing ideas with friends or seeing their finds. The down side is it doesn’t ship to people so you have to visit individual store sites to buy. Amazon is great for buying things for people (you can ship to their address if they have it listed and you don’t know it, I’ve done this heaps and it’s a really nice feature), it’s also great to keep a book list running (I think I add every Posie Gets Cosy book recommendation).  Wishlists at your favourite stores are also really handy. My store of choice is Anthropologie and my wishlist is perfect for finding out when things I love are onsale. This way I’m not tempted to scour their sales section for things I really don’t want but think of getting because it’s half off. Instead, I wait until the item I really love has been marked way down (and they do have great sales). I’m not sure how their shipping is for shipping to people whose address you don’t have or if you’re in need of gift services but buying for yourself, easy peasy. And adding to the dreaming? Even easier.

I receive a lot of emails asking me how I balance simplicity with desire and I’ve never really thought of it as something one had to do. I don’t feel entitled to anything and I very seldom feel frustration when I can’t get something. I believe in the old saying that you get what you need when you need it and not a moment to soon. And I have, at this moment, all that I need. Since everything else is just a want, I’m OK with waiting.

But that doesn’t mean that I wait without thought. I like the term, “ever-renewing desires” because I think that just best describes why so many of us create wishlists, read magazines, watch movies, or are drawn to blogs and sites that share things we’re interested in. There is something beautiful in wanting, some times more than in the getting. In designing our life and cultivating ideas for it, it’s sometimes just so grand to think big dreams about it without deciding if they’re practical or will ever come to pass. And not feeling guilty, frustrated or mad if they don’t. Enjoyment can come just in dreaming and thinking about. Ever crushed on someone knowing it’d never go anywhere but how good that swooning felt? That’s how I feel about things on my list or some sites I visit that inspire me to no end.

I can totally understand, however, the sometimes we need to have it all and have it all now, especially with so many web sites showing us great things and stores more than willing to sell them to us. It seems we tell each other if we want it, it should be ours and media seems to reinforce this. But I think there is something to be said for wishing – for making those lists of things you want, of petting pretty things in stores instead of bringing them home, of thinking over something for months to see if you really like it. The yearning can make the heart grow fonder or, in a lot of cases, get over it completely.

A wishlist or a web site full of ideas, can allow us to want without any financial implications. The trick, as so eloquently stated above, is just to not “get pissed off if you don’t get ‘em” and love everything you already do own so that going without, doesn’t seem like going without.